Shia LaBeouf Is ‘Lawless’

May 16th, 2012

Among the films competing for the coveted Palm d’Or at this year’s Cannes Film Festival is Lawless, starring Gary Oldman, Guy Pearce and…Shia LaBeouf? Hold on, let me check…huh — yeah, that’s right.

Lawless is a gangster flick set in Prohibition-era Virginia. Based on a novel based on a true story, the movie was directed by John Hillcoat and written by Nick Cave, the team that previously gave us the stark, violent 2005 Australian western, The Proposition.

LaBeouf stars as the youngest of three small-town bootlegging brothers who find themselves in over their heads when they get mixed up with a big-time bad guy (Oldman), a corrupt lawman (Pearce) and Jessica Chastain. Jason Clarke, Tom Hardy and Mia Wasikowska co-star in a film that promises the opportunity for plenty of period costumes, questionable regional accents and a master class from Oldman and Pearce for all the younger players.

LaBeouf is moving in some pretty fast company these days. I suppose his work in the multibillion dollar-grossing Transformers franchise has bought him some goodwill. And while I don’t get it, lots of important filmmakers do, including Oliver Stone, Steven Spielberg and Robert Redford, all of whom have recently tagged the ambitious young turk to star in their flicks.

Because they’re expensive to make and rarely turn a profit, Hollywood usually shies away from Depression-era gangster films. It seems youngsters today don’t want to watch their idols talking funny while dressed up in old-timey clothes and driving old-timey cars. But since I’m old and a fan of 1930s gangster flicks, old-timey clothes and old-timey cars, I’m looking forward to this.

If nothing else, Lawless will likely deliver some stark, violent setpieces; some great scenes with Pearce and Oldman; and some scrunchy faced emoting from LaBeouf. And, hey, two out of three ain’t bad.

~Theron Neel

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The ‘Ted’ Trailers: Better Late than Never?

May 15th, 2012

I try to keep up with the trailers for all the upcoming movies I think you might be interested in, and I usually do a pretty good job. But it can be a bit overwhelming at times — especially in the summer months, when studios are releasing as many films as possible in an effort to grab all the cash they can from teens and young adults on summer break…or as they prefer to say, in an effort to entertain and amuse kids of all ages.

One trailer (well, two) that got by me is for Ted, a weirdass buddy comedy starring Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis. Ted is the directorial debut of Seth MacFarlane, the animator, voice actor and writer best known as the creator of the popular Fox animated series Family Guy and American Dad!

Now, I’m not a huge fan of MacFarlane’s shows — not because I don’t like them; I just don’t really watch them — but I think MacFarlane is a pretty smart, talented guy. At least, he seems to be whenever I catch him on a talk show. But, that aside, I’m not sure what to make of Ted.

It’s a got a pretty wacky, high-concept premise: A little boy wishes his teddy bear would come to life and be his best buddy and, miraculously, it does. Jump forward 20 years and the boy is now a man played by Wahlberg, and his best buddy is now an adult teddy bear voiced by MacFarlane.

This is basically a riff on a Judd Apatow-esque comedy. Wahlberg is trying to move on and become an adult, but he’s being dragged down by his fun-loving, party-hardy best buddy. When Wahlberg gets serious about Mila Kunis, it’s time to sever ties with Ted. Hilarity ensues. Or it doesn’t. Or it might. Actually, it kind of depends on which trailer you watch.

The first trailer for Ted that I saw was the following gloriously profane red-band trailer. It doesn’t really provide any explanations about the zany plot. It just goes for it. And it’s infectiously funny.

Then I found the second trailer for Ted. It’s a much more conventional, neutered approach, setting up the film’s premise without any of the smutty humor. And it’s markedly less funny.

What works for me in both trailers is Wahlberg and Kunis. I always like Kunis, but Wahlberg is hit or miss — for every Boogie Nights and The Fighter, there’s a Planet of the Apes and The Happening. What I glean from this is that Wahlberg is most effective when he’s working with a first-rate director who can pull a decent performance out of him.

Because this is MacFarlane’s first shot at directing, I have no idea if he has what it takes to make Wahlberg watchable, but it looks like he might. Even if he can, does he have the chops to deliver a good film? Personally, I have no freaking idea.

So, I call upon you, dear readers. I’m guessing you watch Family Guy, so you probably know more about MacFarlane’s skills than I do. What do you make of these trailers? Will Ted amuse and entertain? Or will it disappoint and deliver yawns?

~Theron Neel

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First Peek at ‘American Mary’

May 12th, 2012

Those Soskas are cagey.

Back in July 2010, Jen and Sylvia Soska first mentioned a top secret project called American Mary while doing press for their debut feature, Dead Hooker in a Trunk.

A few months later came the American Mary teaser trailer. Then, a couple of months after that came the announcement that the wonderful Katharine Isabelle would star as their Mary.

And this is how it’s been for almost two years: the Twisted Twins dangling American Mary in front of us, torturing us with little bits of info — not a lot, just enough to keep us interested. And, damn it, it’s worked. Of course, they know it’s worked; therefore, they are keeping it up. In other words, to quote Frank Zappa, the torture never stops. Which brings us to today.

That’s right, the latest American Mary teaser just arrived. The Soska sisters are finally giving us our first peek at the lovely Ms. Isabelle in character as Mary Mason, the disenchanted med student who dives into the deep end of the dirty pool known as underground surgery.

It’s an evocative shot to be sure — dark, moody, disturbing. This is par for the Soska course though. Word on the street once known as the Information Superhighway is that the filmmakers called upon members of the body modification subculture to appear in their flick. And, based on the women whose backs are to the camera in this photo, I’d guess the body mod involved is a little more extreme than corsets and nose rings.

Oh, did I mention that Jen and Sylvie are preparing to jet to France to premiere American Mary at Cannes next week? Well, they are. And judging from the photo below, they seem pretty excited about it.

Bikinis, beach toys and body mods —  the American Mary saga continues. Stay tuned for the next episode, in which Jen exclaims, “So that’s what it takes to get kicked out of France!”

~Theron Neel

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Not What it Seems — ‘Death and Cremation’

May 11th, 2012

Labels are funny things. Just because something — say, a movie — can be categorized one way doesn’t necessarily mean that’s exactly what it is. As an example, I offer Death and Cremation, a 2010 film from director Justin Steele.

Judged on a simple synopsis, Death and Cremation is a thriller. Brad Dourif plays Stanley, a serial killer whose “day job” as a crematorium owner allows him the perfect way to facilitate his hobby. Into his life comes Jarod (Jeremy Sumpter), a bullied teenage misanthrope who looks like the lost member of Fall Out Boy and needs a job and a father figure. Jarod soon ingratiates himself with the reclusive serial killer, who recognizes the boy as a kindred spirit. When Jarod’s bullies start disappearing, Jarod comes to suspect that Stanley is responsible. When the douchey boyfriend of Jarod’s mom disappears too, Detective Fairchild (Scott Elrod) starts to put the pieces together. How far will Stanley go to protect his young protégé?

That pretty much sums up Death and Cremation, but it really doesn’t describe it. Sure, it has all the trappings of a thriller — people die, blood splatters, an investigation ensues — but Death and Cremation is more character study than suspense story.

Director Steele has fashioned a very quiet, dark film that is more concerned with the people who inhabit it than their deeds or motives. Sure, half-hearted attempts are made at revealing why they do what they do (Stanley was abused as a child, Jarod is bulled and needs a role model), but those feel like afterthoughts and are unnecessary. The movie is best when it just puts Dourif and Sumpter in a room together and allows them to interact.

Steele lucked out by getting two such skilled actors for Death and Cremation. Dourif is a masterful performer and makes Stanley fascinating to watch even if he’s sitting still, doing a crossword puzzle. He’s well-matched by Sumpter, who thankfully knows that understated, internal acting can be more effective than hamming it up. But Elrod, as the detective, seems like he’s in a completely different movie — he’s more soap opera star than character study subtle. In fact, his entire plotline feels tacked on. I suppose he’s necessary to the story, but whenever the flick switches to his investigation, it’s like I changed the channel to a Lifetime movie. But that’s likely the fault of Steele and Alecc Bracero’s script.

I realize certain notes need to be hit in a thriller, but Steele and Bracero’s screenplay falls short whenever it moves away from its two leads. After a while, I realized that’s because the actors playing the roles are more interesting than the film they occupy. And to their credit, they make Death and Cremation work — even the movie’s highly unlikely third act climax and ending feel believable thanks to the goodwill earned by Dourif and Sumpter.

But a weak script doesn’t doom a film. Steele has delivered a flick that works despite itself. The tone, pace and performances are what’s important here. As is often said, it’s not what a movie is about; it’s how it’s about it. And Steele seems to know this.

Death and Cremation only falters when its director bows to the demands of standard-issue genre convention. If Steele had allowed his flick to go its own way more often, it might not have been as good a thriller, but it would’ve been a better film.

~Theron Neel

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‘The Watch’ — Evolution of a Trailer

May 8th, 2012

Once upon a time, there was a movie called Neighborhood Watch. It was developed way back in 2008 by producer Shawn Levy as a “PG-13 kind of Ghostbusters-y thing,” written by Jared Stern. Excitement reigned because funnyman Will Ferrell was set to star in what was sure to be a family-friendly laugh riot with major box office potential.

Then, as can only happen in Hollywoodland, the project collapsed, executives were sad and the powers that be thought it wise to bring in Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg to do a rewrite — and boy did they. Under Rogen and Goldberg’s watch, PG-13 fluff morphed into puerile hard-R tripe. And there was much rejoicing.

Of course, this new “script” attracted big stars. Soon, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Billy Crudup, Rosemarie DeWitt, Will Forte and Jonah Hill had signed onto this Akiva Schaffer-directed tale of a paranoid suburban neighborhood watch group who stumble across an alien invasion and talk about butt-fucking and blowjobs.

The first trailer for Neighborhood Watch soon appeared and showed the film’s heroes patrolling the not-so-mean streets in their minivan and getting laughs by intimidating a teenage boy for assaulting them.

Wasn’t that funny! It wasn’t? Well, it became a whole lot less funny after Trayvon Martin was murdered. In fact, it was so less funny that the producers decided that the title had to be changed to The Watch. And to get the memory of the original trailer out of the heads of a traumatized, angry nation of filmgoers, the powers that be retooled their marketing strategy and dropped a new NSFW red-band trailer.

It’s still not funny, but it’s a whole different kind of not funny, which is kind of interesting…emphasis on the “sort of.”

If nothing else, this whole mess has taught us one thing: Hollywood isn’t completely cut off from reality. They apparently pay enough attention to the rest of the world to comprehend when there’s a possibility something could affect their bottom line. And isn’t that just a little comforting? It’s not? No, I guess it’s not. But it is sad.

~Theron Neel

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‘Machete Kills’ Casting News

May 7th, 2012

Robert Rodriguez is putting together quite a cast for Machete Kills, the second installment of the proposed trilogy starring Danny Trejo as the Mexican Federales/folk hero/lover of many women named Machete. And while Rodriguez might not be getting precisely everyone he wants, those he is getting are pretty good.

Trejo is returning, of course, as are Jessica Alba as Sartana, Machete’s main mama, and Michelle Rodriguez as Luz, the eye patch-sporting revolutionary/taco vendor known in underground circles as Shé. That’s a good start, but Rodriguez is also adding some pretty cool and/or interesting newcomers to the Machete-verse.

It was reported early on that the director had his heart set on getting Michelle Williams for the flick, but it appears she’s not going to be involved. But Rodriguez has scored big by casting Amber Heard as a scheming assassin code-named Miss San Antonio, which sounds like a role the actress was born to play. Heard can kick major ass, as she proved in last year’s underappreciated grindhouse throwback, Drive Angry. Since then, Heard has played retro eye candy in The Rum Diary and The Playboy Club, neither project allowing her to play to her strengths and neither project successful. Coincidence?

Also on board is the ubiquitous Sofia Vergara, taking a break from TV, where she stars on the hit series Modern Family and appears in approximately every other commercial aired. Rodriguez is apparently taking advantage of her, ahem, strengths as well, casting her as Madame Desdemona, who Variety informs me is the “leather-clad” employer of “Mexican harlots” in possession of “information that Machete needs” and whom Machete will almost certainly be compelled to pleasure in order to obtain said information. Vergara is a charming screen presence, but her casting begs the question, Was Salma Hayek busy?

If it sounds like Rodriguez is favoring the fanboys in the audience by stacking his cast full of hot women, don’t worry — he’s got something for the fangirls too.

Set to co-star as Luther Voz, “a cunning arms dealer and death merchant who aims to spread war across the planet by launching a missile,” is the lovely and bipolar Mel Gibson. I suppose Gibson figures his reputation can’t get any worse, so why not play a crazy warmonger. Whatever you think about Gibson, he’s a solid actor and, hey, anyone that hates Joe Eszterhas (aptly described by Slate editor David Plotz as “the Shakespeare of the Jerry Springer crowd, the eminence greasy of Hollywood”) can’t be totally unredeemable.

If Gibson doesn’t do it for you, perhaps the inclusion of Demián Bichir will be more to your liking. Often referred to as “the Mexican George Clooney,” Bichir has long been a star south of the border, though he’s recently become known stateside for his role as Fidel Castro in Steven Soderbergh’s Che Guevara biopic, not to mention his work on the Showtime series Weeds, where he portrayed a drug lord with a penchant for spanking.

Also, Tom Savini is set to reprise his role as hit man Osiris Amanpour, and martial arts master Tony Jaa is rumored to be involved in some capacity. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if Rodriguez manages to write in a role for Cheech Marin even though his character died in the series’ first entry.

To sum up, it looks like Machete Kills will have a little something, or someone, for everybody. One thing is sure: Machete Kills will be one of my “must sees” for 2013.

~Theron Neel

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Here’s the ‘End of Watch’ Trailer

May 4th, 2012

Here’s the trailer for the forthcoming gritty cop thriller End of Watch, a movie I knew nothing about until I watched the trailer. Now, I know everything about it. And, soon, you will too!

End of Watch, from gritty cop thriller specialist David Ayer (Training Day, Street Kings, etc.), appears to be the big-screen action movie answer to TNT’s Southland.

According to the official synopsis, Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael Peña star as Los Angeles police officers who “patrol the city’s meanest streets of south central Los Angeles.” Cavalier cowboys in blue, these cops kick ass and take names on a daily basis Then, they run afoul of a drug cartel and end up with a price on their head. I guess that’s what happens when you patrol the city’s meanest streets, brother.

The producers promise that End of Watch is a “powerful story of family, friendship, love, honor and courage.” Sadly, they also promise the “action unfolds entirely through footage from the handheld HD cameras.” That’s right, Ayer is dragging out the now-hackneyed found footage conceit, which is supposed to give the flick “a gripping, first-person immediacy,” but will probably just give the viewer a headache.

The film has a pretty strong supporting cast, including America Ferrera, Frank Grillo, Natalie Martinez, David Harbour, Cody Horn and Anna Kendrick, who has grown to become one of my favorite actresses.

Anyway, here’s the trailer for End of Watch, which opens September 28. If you really want to see the movie, you might want to skip the trailer. Because, seriously, it pretty much gives away everything.



~Theron Neel

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Presenting Seyfried as ‘Lovelace’

May 3rd, 2012

Much as there are competing Alfred Hitchcock flicks, there are also competing Linda Lovelace flicks. Both Lovelace and Inferno: A Linda Lovelace Story are racing down the stretch toward the finish line, but it appears Lovelace has pulled ahead…no pun intended.

Rob Epstein and Jerry Friedman’s Lovelace is now officially categorized by IMDb as being in post-production, whereas Matthew Wilder’s Inferno is still in that ugly netherworld known as pre-production (often referred to as “so, are we gonna make this movie or what?”).

Lovelace recently solidified its lead in what we at Slammed & Damned like to call the Lovelace Sweepstakes by releasing its first poster, giving us a look at Amanda Seyfried in her Linda Lovelace makeup, which appears to be just blue eye shadow, pink lipstick and rouge (I’m guessing this performance will be all about costume, attitude and Seyfried’s smoldering saucer-size eyes).

For comparison’s sake, and for those too young to remember, this is what the real Linda Lovelace looked like.

I suppose the resemblance is close enough, but I fear the filmmakers have ignored the fact that in the 1970s, the porn industry was staffed with people who looked like people, as opposed to the contemporary porn industry, where most performers look like blow-up dolls.

Yes, the ’70s were a grittier time, full of grittier people who had yet to discover the joys of dermatology, cosmetic dentistry and plastic surgery. And while I worry that everyone in Lovelace will look too, well, good, I have to bear in mind that the movies are the movies, where the people onscreen always say the right thing and always are a little prettier than they are in real life. Unless, of course, that movie is a ’70s porn flick.

~Theron Neel

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Enjoy the Horrors of Vegas with Eli Roth

May 2nd, 2012

Actor, director, producer, writer, curator, close personal friend of Quentin Tarantino — Eli Roth wears many hats. Now comes word that the noted horror filmmaker has once again returned from the haberdasher. A personal note to Mr. Roth: Dude, nobody needs that many hats.

Deadline is reporting that Roth has announced plans for Eli Roth’s Goretorium, a state-of-the-art multi-level haunted house located on the Vegas strip, right next door to that other famous horrorshow, Planet Hollywood.

The budding haunt industry entrepreneur wants the Goretorium, which will be open 24/7 x 365, to become “the world mecca for horror fans.”

“Horror fans know that with my name on it,” Roth said, “it won’t be for little kids. They know it will be a very scary experience.”

It could be pretty cool to have a year-round, over-the-top horror attraction in Vegas, I suppose. And you have to admit, decapitated showgirls sound right in Roth’s wheelhouse. As long as his Goretorium is scarier than Hostel: Part II, he may well have something here. Best of luck, Eli, from your friends at Slammed & Damned.

~Theron Neel

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‘Yellow Submarine’ Floats Back into Theaters

May 1st, 2012

In celebration of its upcoming June 5 DVD/Blu-ray reissue, the Beatles’ animated psychedelic phantasmagoria, Yellow Submarine, is hitting theaters for a limited big-screen run. Here comes the sun, indeed!

The flick’s nationwide engagement kicks off May 5 at the Ziegfeld Theatre in New York City, but the majority of screenings take place from May 10 to May 19, with some scattered June and July showings. The complete schedule can be found HERE.

Yellow Submarine was first conceived as an easy way for the Beatles to satisfy a film contract they had no interest in fulfilling (the plan failed). Even then, they were less than enthused about participating in an animated film — they still had a bad taste in their mouth from the Beatles animated shorts that had co-opted their music and allowed them no input — but they soon agreed after seeing impressive animation tests. And, more important, their involvement in the making of the movie would be minimal.

When the film hit theaters in 1968, it was widely hailed as a groundbreaking atistic work. Mixing the era’s pop art stylings with a traditional hand-drawn approach, while also employing a variety of newer animation techniques, Yellow Submarine was revolutionary for its time.

Though currently out of print, the film was restored and reissued on DVD in 1999, but the new 4K digital resolution restoration is said to be superior to anything done previously. Because of the original hand-rendered artwork’s delicate condition, the movie was cleaned up manually, frame by frame. No automated software was used in the restoration at all.

If you’re a fan of the Beatles, animation or popular culture, I highly recommend you try to catch one of the screenings. Also, it’s often forgotten that Yellow Submarine is a film suitable and enjoyable for all ages. So take the kids too!

It’s always a treat to see Yellow Submarine on the big screen, and now more than ever since it has been restored and enhanced. So make a night of it. Grab the family, hit the theater and travel back to a groovier time for some trippy animation and awesome music.

To quote the Beatles, “Having been some days in preparation, a splendid time is guaranteed for all.”

~Theron Neel

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